Facing the Monster
by Celonhael
Summary: InuYasha must face the monster inside himself - please note formatting changes in Ch 2
1. Chapter 1

Jumping up from the bottom of the well, Kagome latched onto the vines that grew up the side, and braced her feet.  
Overhead she could see blue sky.  
Had the weather finally improved? And did that mean the Gods were no longer arguing in the heavens?  
She felt a twinge in her shoulder, and winced.  
"InuYasha? Are you up there?" she called out. If she was lucky, he had hung around the well a little, waiting for her to come back. He often did, and while sometimes she felt guilty, today it would be nice.  
No answer.  
_Drat. Oh well. I just have to go slow, and take most of the weight on my other arm._  
It had been three weeks since she had been shot with that arrow. She had gone home after two weeks to visit her mother and brother, making sure she showed no sign whatsoever of her injury. Souta already had noticed her scars. The last thing she needed was for him to see a newer one.  
It ached from time to time, and she worried. Often, an injury near a joint caused arthritis to set in over time, and she needed her arms when she used her bow.  
_Well...I'm only 16 yet, I suppose. By the time I'm 30 or more, if I'm lucky, I won't need to be shooting any more arrows!_  
It would be nice if she could get a hand up right now, though!  
Grunting with exertion, she managed to haul herself up, grabbing the lip of the well and dragging herself up over. For a moment she hung, belly resting on the edge of the well, legs danging down, catching her breath.  
_That'll teach me to bring so much back with me._  
She crawled over the edge of the well, and stood, looking around.  
Kagome paused to adjust the cord of the Shikon around her neck, making sure it wasn't tangled up with the chain her sword pendant was on. She stopped, thinking.  
_Shikon around my neck, sword pendant around my neck, Bloodstone around my neck...I'm worse than poor InuYasha!_  
_I probably don't need the Bloodstone anymore,_ she thought, _Master Akira gave it to me so I couldn't be tricked by Xanter. But he's gone now. Him and Xether both.  
Maybe I should keep it on, though. There are still at least 2 Shadelings out there...Gemu, and Phobia...and whatever that thing was that sent us to that frozen world...there may be more..._  
The only problem with the Bloodstone was that it also blocked DarkWind from hearing her.  
Sometimes, that was good too, though. It gave her some privacy.  
She turned, and started back towards Kaede's.  
_DarkWind has been acting different since I was shot,_ she thought, _And so has InuYasha. DarkWind is angry at InuYasha. I can feel that. I don't know what InuYasha said to him to make him feel that way...he's always liked InuYasha up till now. But I guess that's none of my business. And poor InuYasha. He hangs around even more, like he's scared to let me out of his sight now. He wants to keep me safe. He acts like my getting shot is his fault._  
As she walked, Kagome's mind turned to the hanyou.  
_He's having a really hard time right now. Being hunted in my world, having Izumi die...I wish there were something I could do it make it easier for him. But how? I can't bring Izumi back, or get rid of those people._  
She remembered running her fingers through his hair as he looked at her. Of gently pulling him to her, holding him, as he sorrowed for Izumi. He had looked shocked for a second, but had gone to her so _easily_, relaxing against her.  
She had to be so careful. She was falling back into her old ways.  
It would be so _easy_ to just fall back in love with him.  
But what was she supposed to do? He needed her.  
It wasn't arrogance or pride. Kagome understood by now what importance she was to InuYasha. Because InuYasha was the kind of person who needed to protect, but also needed someone to let him be weak. Someone who would literally look at him and say, "Go ahead, be upset."  
That was why she kept trying to explain to him, that even though she no longer loved him, she would always _be_ there for him. If he needed to talk, or just needed someone to let his guard down with, she was there. But she couldn't help but wonder if actions like the one that night were just making it harder for him to make that final break.  
And it didn't help that she acted without thinking, either.  
Kagome cringed when she thought about that night in her world, when they had been hunted. She had used the sacred bell to turn InuYasha human, and had practically jumped him to try and make it look like they were just normal teens making out in the bushes.  
She put a hand over her face, _Oh God, his face. That look on his face..._  
Kagome sighed.  
She walked into the clearing, the field that lay between her well and Kaede's village, and stopped.  
The first thing she saw was the remains of a large demon, splattered all over the ground. It looked like it had been some sort of insect, but she couldn't be sure, it was literally tore up so badly.  
The second thing she saw was InuYasha, standing, back-on to her, looking down into the village below. The wind was pulling at his clothing, his hair.  
_What happened? Was that thing attacking the village?!_  
Kagome started to run towards him, dropping her backpack on the ground. As she ran, she looked down towards the village. She couldn't see any damage there, so perhaps it hadn't gone there yet. It must have just been on it's way.  
_Thank goodness. Maybe InuYasha had been at the well, and had seen it, and..._  
Kagome ran down onto the level ground, "InuYasha? What happened? Is anyone hurt?"  
He didn't answer, and she ran the last few steps towards him, "InuYasha? Are you ok? Were you hurt?"  
She reached out, and grabbed his sleeve, and he turned.  
Kagome staggered to a stop, her heart rising up into her throat.  
Red eyes looked back at her, demonic markings on his face.  
_No!_  
She started to turn, instinctively looking for the Tetsusaiga, but he was faster. He grabbed her arm, yanking her towards him, and grabbed her injured shoulder with his other hand.  
Kagome gave a pained yelp, and tried to pull away.  
His hands tightened, claws scoring along her arm, puncturing her shirt over her shoulder. It was like trying to break free of a brick wall, and she was suddenly shoved to the ground, hard, one leg twisted awkwardly under her, stealing her breath for a second.  
Another hard shove, and she was pushed over, onto her back, and he was glaring down at her.  
Kagome looked up, terrified. The change that came over him was always terrifying. His golden eyes, always so expressive, now red and looking like something belonging to some wild animal. Even his fangs somehow grew, longer and sharper.  
_If I 'sit' him now, he'll kill me,_ she thought, panicked, _He'll crush me._  
_Where is Tetsusaiga!?_  
Remembering some things he himself had taught her, she rolled back, freeing one aching leg, and brought it up, planting her foot against his hip, preparing to shove, to try and give herself some room. If she could get free, she could 'sit' him, and he'd return to normal.  
InuYasha's reflexes were always fast, but now they just seemed faster. His left hand dropped, grabbing her ankle, and twisted, digging his claws in.  
Kagome shrieked, instinctively trying to batter his face.  
He grabbed her by both shoulders, claws sinking into flesh, and gave her one, hard, shake, _"Stop!"_  
Kagome froze, going still, panting, staring up, wide-eyed, "Inu...Inu...Yasha?"  
Red eyes travelled over her face, his hands still cruelly tight on her shoulders, and spoke, his voice deeper, harder, gravelly.  
"Why is there a guard around you?"  
Kagome just stared at him, her heart pounding so hard it hurt, her shoulders aching, her ankle aching, unable to move much, staring into the face of the monster.  
"W-what?" she asked quietly, almost afraid to talk. Those fangs were so long...and so close to her face...  
"There is a guard around you. Why? Who are you?"  
"It...it's me. Kagome," she spoke carefully. Was InuYasha aware in there, somewhere?, "It's your Kagome, remember?"  
Red eyes continued looking her over, hands still painfully tight, "Not mine. No. _His. He_ has guards around you. You are untouchable to him."  
Kagome swallowed, "His? His who?"  
Red eyes narrowed, "_Him._"  
"You...you mean InuYasha." Somewhere in the distance, Kagome heard children playing. It sounded so very far away, and she suddenly felt so very alone, "You mean InuYasha, don't you?"  
There was no answer, just a growl.  
_He's a separate entity,_ Kagome thought, _He doesn't consider himself a part of InuYasha. Like with split personalities._  
"Where...where is the sword? You should get the sword."  
InuYasha grinned, revealing long fangs, "I don't need a sword. I have my own swords."  
He let go of one of her shoulders, revealing his long claws, coated with her own blood. Before her horrified eyes, he licked her blood from them, and then smiled at her, "Maybe he would share you."  
"No, no, he doesn't like to share," she found herself babbling.  
He leaned forward, and for a second, Kagome thought he was going to try and kiss her, but instead his face slipped past hers, hovering just beside her left ear.  
She suddenly realized he was smelling her.  
"You smell good."  
"Where did the sword go!?" she suddenly asked, terrified. She had to try to distract him somehow, at least long enough to 'sit' him, "I'd really like to have that sword!"  
He brought his face back to hers, looking at her, looking her over, his eyes starting to move down over her throat, her chest. One hand left it's tight grip on her shoulder, but he suddenly grabbed up the material in his hand, and pulled.  
Kagome heard the fabric tear, felt the front of her shirt let go. She felt claws on her naked shoulder, felt him pulling at the strap of her bra.  
Fear made her desperate, and she suddenly turned, pointing to the left, "Look!"  
Unbelievably, InuYasha turned, startled.  
She rolled to the right, hearing her shirt let go with a rip, and screamed, _"SIT!"_  
She felt, more than heard, the impact.  
Kagome kept rolling, making sure she was clear, before kneeling, and then lunging to her feet. Spinning, she stood, staring, panting, at InuYasha's back, where he was lying prone.  
Her heart was pounding painfully, _Oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God...what do I do? What do I do? Ok, calm down. Think. Think. He's ok now. He'll come out of it. What do you need to do?  
Hide any evidence._  
Kagome looked down at herself.  
Her shirt was in tatters, hanging from herself, and there was blood.  
A fair bit.  
She turned, lunging back towards the backpack, _I can't let him see, he'll die, I have to change. Quick, quick, a new shirt, hurry!_  
Behind her, she heard him groan, coming to.  
Kagome attacked her backpack like a savage thing, tearing open the straps, plunging her hands down inside, searching for a shirt, any shirt. Clothes went flying.  
Out came a green blouse, and she tore free what was left of her tattered T with one hand, dragging on the other one.  
She wasn't thinking. If she had been calm, she would have realized it was pointless. She was still bleeding, and now her backpack looked like it had exploded. But her mind was telling her if she just changed her torn shirt, everything would be ok. She would save him.  
She yanked the shirt on, buttoning it up, looking around.  
Behind her, she saw InuYasha stagger to his feet, looking around, confused.  
Kagome breathed a sigh of relief, then realize she was surrounded by the contents of her backpack.  
Cursing, she started grabbing handfulls of things, stuffing them back into her backpack, clothes, a comb, food packages, everything was forced in with the savagery of blind panic.  
"Kagome?"  
She yanked on the straps of her backpack, closing it hard enough that one of the straps half tore, "Yeah, be right there!" She tried to make her voice sound cheery; instead it sounded shrill.  
His voice, coming closer, "You're back. What...what are you doing?"  
"My...my backpack tore as I came through," she chirped, her voice high and shrill, "I'm just fixing it! I'll be right there!"  
"Are you alright? You sound funn- you're bleeding? I smell blood!"  
_Please, no._  
"It's ok," she tried to laugh, "I fell while climbing out the well, and I-"  
She felt him take her shoulder, and pull her up, turning her.  
Kagome turned, facing him, forcing her face to look calm and relaxed.  
Gold eyes were worried as he looked her over, "Your shoulder is bleeding agai-.."  
He stopped, eyes widening as he looked down.  
Kagome looked down at herself, suddenly realizing there were little red blooms appearing all over her green blouse, at her shoulders, one on her belly, one on her side. They weren't big, but growing, as she continued to bleed from several small abrasions, and a number of claw-holes.  
"What happened!?" he asked, shocked, confused. There were no holes in her shirt, but she was suddenly bleeding through it.  
"I told you, I fell. That's all. You know I'm a clutz. Come on, let's go to Kaede's!"  
He looked at her, frowning. Something was very wrong.  
"Come on, come on!" she smiled, and turned to walk. Kagome suddenly staggered, one leg twisting slightly.  
"Kagome!"  
Little red blossoms of blood were appearing on her back as well, and he ran to her, grabbing her arm, "What the hell happened to you?"  
"I told you, I fell back into the well! I hurt my leg too," she laughed, oddly, "I'm so clumsy!"  
Something was _very_ wrong.  
He looked around, keeping a hold on her arm.  
InuYasha's gaze fell on the remains of the demon, and he blinked.  
Suddenly, he remembered. He had been at the well, waiting for Kagome. She said she'd be back in a day, and he had headed out there to wait for her. She ususally brought half a store with her, and he liked helping her with the bag.  
But he had suddenly seen that thing, rumbling towards the village, and he had gone off, chasing it.  
They had fought, and...  
And what?  
The smell of Kagome's blood kept distracting him.  
"Come _on_, InuYasha, I want to get to the village!"  
He frowned at the carcass of the demon, thinking.  
He had been thrown back...had hit a tree, hard. And the demon had come at him, attacking. It had...had...  
What?  
It's pincers. It had driven them into him, hard. And the pain...!  
His sword! It had been out of reach!  
InuYasha slapped a hand to his hip, reaching for the Tetsusaiga, realizing it was gone. Panicked, he looked around the area.  
Kagome watched his face, fear starting to ice up her insides.  
"Well _I'm_ heading to Kaede's, with or without you!" she announced, attempting to flounce off, praying he would follow once he found Tetsusaiga. She took another step, and pain shot up her leg, and she grit her teeth.  
You can't flounce while limping.  
InuYasha's gaze shot around the clearing, and his hanyou eyes spotted it, lying in the shadow of a tree, the one he must have hit. It was hanging at a crazy angle, ready to fall.  
He ran to it, picking it up, slipping it back into it's sheath.  
But why did his head hurt?  
He cursed, watching as Kagome tried to limp back down to Kaede's village. What was the matter with her? He was going to have to sit her down and find out what happened. She didn't fall in the well, no one injured themselves enough to bleed without tearing the clothing too. That made no sense.  
He started to follow after her, running a few steps.  
He wrinkled his nose, the smell of her blood making his stomach roll.  
InuYasha frowned, and looked around. Why was he still smelling...?  
His eyes fell on a small scrap of clothing, half hidden under a bush.  
"Are you coming or _not?!_" she called back to him.  
"Hang on!" he yelled back, and reaching down, snagged it, and pulled it out.  
He blinked, shocked.  
The cloth was covered in blood.  
He stood up, staring at it. It was tattered, little more than a scrap now, and soaked with blood.  
_Kagome's_ blood.  
_What the hell?!_  
"Kagome!?" he called out her, confused, and started walking towards her, holding out the tattered T-shirt, "What the hell is this?"  
He saw Kagome turn, look back at him, her eyes widening when she saw what he was holding.  
"What happened?" he asked her, starting to grow angry, "This thing reeks of your blood!"  
"I...InuYasha, I-"  
He glared at her, waiting for an answer. Kagome faltered, searching for something, anything, but before she could come up with a single word, she saw it come to him, saw it hit home.  
The headache. Not having his sword on him. No memory of killing the thing. Getting up from the ground.  
Her blood.  
His eyes met hers, widening, hand closing convulsively around the tattered shirt, the first words out of his mouth, _"What did I do!?"_  
"I'm ok!" she said quickly, trying to make him understand that first, trying to drive that home right at the beginning, "Look at me, I'm ok! I'm fine-"  
"You're _bleeding! What did I DO!?"_  
"I'm ok! Really!"  
He cursed, loudly, voice cracking, holding out the shirt, trying to open it with his hands. After a second, he realized there was no longer a front or a back, it was just scraps. Furious, frantic, he threw it down, reaching for her.  
Kagome raised her hands, trying to batter his hands away, "Stop it, I said I'm ok!"  
_"You're not! I attacked you!"_  
He cursed again, face pale, eyes wide, shoving her hands away, and grabbed the front of her shirt. He tried to unbutton it, but in his panic the buttons just popped loose. He opened her shirt, not in the least embarassed, not even really _seeing_ anything other than looking for signs of injury.  
And he found them.  
Her shoulders, her arm, her belly, all had scratches and bruises, just starting to come out. There was a nasty-looking abrasion on the side of her neck. Despite Kagome's protest, he turned, moving behind her, yanking the blouse loose from her shoulders, looking down the collar at her back.  
Her back was covered with abrasions and gouges as well. And there were horrible-looking little holes in the back of her shoulders. Holes he easily identified.  
None of the injuries were serious...but they were there, and they were bad.  
Her shirt had been torn from her...she had been on her back, on the rough ground...  
He let her go, backing away from her, shaking his head in mute horror, bumping up against a tree trunk. He hunched over slightly, both arms up, crossed over his face, as if trying to fend off an invisible attack.  
_"Oh Gods what did I do?"_  
Kagome was trying to pull her shirt closed, but gave up when he hit the tree, and hobbled towards him. She grabbed his sleeve, "You only scratched me, InuYasha! Stop it! Look at me! _I'm not hurt!"_  
He didn't move, and she grabbed his arm, _"Look at me!"_  
InuYasha dropped his arms, meeting her gaze, and she was literally stunned to see a faint glimmer of tears in his eyes. He grabbed her, face a mix of rage and fear, _"Tell me what I did, Kagome! Tell me!"_  
_"I'm telling you!"  
"Don't lie to me, I want to know!"  
"I'M NOT LYING!"_  
He looked at her, panting, trembling violently. He spoke again, his voice getting a little more level, "Tell me what happened."  
"Will you listen to me?! I'm telling you! I came through the well, and you were there...as a..."  
"Go on."  
"And you...grabbed me. And we talked, and then I-"  
His voice cracked, "I grabbed you and _talked_? I'm not stupid, you don't get your shirt torn off _talking!_"  
"InuYasha-"  
He reached out, and took her wrist, gently, but firmly. He started to talk, and suddenly realized there was blood on his hands.  
He dropped her wrist as if he had been scalded, staring wide-eyed at his hands.  
"In-"  
"Did I get this from _talking_ too?" his voice quavered.  
"InuYasha-"  
He looked at her, lowering his hands, and spoke. His voice was level, but it quivered a little, as he fought to remain calm.  
"I'm going to wash...I can smell your blood on me...and you wash too...and then we're going to talk. And you're going to tell me everything that happened, from the moment you saw me to the moment I woke up. Everything. I need to know, Kagome. Don't you dare try to protect me. Not anymore. I need to know how dangerous I've become to you, and maybe to the others."  
Kagome swallowed, looking at him, "InuYasha."  
He pushed off from the tree, walking away from her, straight towards the river, not speaking.  
Kagome brushed her hair back from her face, and mentally cursed.

He splashed water on himself wildly, the smell of her blood sickening in his nose. It must have come from the shirt he picked up, surely he would have noticed her blood on his hands as soon as he woke up?  
_What did I do to her? Oh Gods Above, what did I do? Her shirt was torn off...her back's abraded...all those cuts..._  
He saw what he thought were...teeth marks, near her shoulder. Did he bite her? Had he been...on her, and...biting her?  
_I'm not safe to be around. Every time I drop my damn sword I can turn into some raving animal..._ he knelt, and even dunked his head, not wanting the smell of her blood in his hair, _when I'm that...that thing...do I still...want her? Is that what happened, did I...Oh Gods Above. How can I look at her?_  
Hair dripping, he continued to kneel in the water, not even caring that he was now soaked through, staring numbly at the water.  
_Did I rape her? Is that why her back is tore up?_  
But he was dressed. Or did he...and then get dressed? Why hadn't she used the sit on him? How long had he been that thing? Hadn't the 'sit' worked? Is that what happened? Had it failed somehow, and he had...had raped her, and then dressed, and then...  
He put a hand to his face.  
He couldn't run away, no matter what had happened. He had to know, and he had to...make this right, somehow.  
If he _had_ forced himself on her...how could he ever look her in the eye again?  
_Gods Above and Below...please...please don't let me have hurt her. Please._


	2. Chapter 2

Kagome removed the second shirt she had put on for the day, looking for a third. The buttons had been popped from her blouse, and she doubted she'd even find them now.

She had followed him to the river, moving to a slightly different spot, and stripped, washing off. She doused herself as best as possible, and dried off the same way.

She knew she was going to have to treat her cuts, just putting some cream on them, and band-aids, but she couldn't get the ones on her back.

Maybe she should get InuYasha to do it. While she wasn't sure if it was a good idea to let him see her wounds again...maybe treating them would make him feel better, like he was helping her...

She doubted it.

Sighing, Kagome pulled on a tank, then a blouse over it. It would be easiest to see to her shoulder's injuries with the tank. She could keep herself covered while exposing any other part that needed work.

Kagome closed her eyes. She could hear him splashing around the bend, and remembered that night, so long ago, after he had turned for the very first time. How frantic he had been to get the smell of blood off himself. And that had been stranger's blood.

She stood up, and walked back to where her backpack lay, half packed, looking like something had jumped in and kicked everything loose.

Kagome knelt, and opened it, taking out her little first aid kit. She really didn't want to upset him any further, but she knew the cuts and abrasions, especially the ones gotten from the ground, needed to be properly tended. They could get infected.

She treated the ones she could reach, her belly and arms, the fronts of her shoulders, and made sure her injury from the arrow was well cleaned and had cream on it as well. Then she waited for him.

InuYasha took longer coming back than she did, making sure there wasn't the slighest trace of a scent of her blood clung to him.  
He was pretty much soaked, even his hair had been saturated, and now clung to his chest, arms and back.

He walked into the clearing, not meeting her eyes, and stood, crossing his arms in an instinctive defensive posture.

Before he could say anything, she smiled at him, and held up the little tube of cream, "Would you put some of this on the few scratches on my back? And then put some band-aids on them? They're small enough, they don't need actual bandages, but-"

"Stop it," he said, calmly, lowly, but walked around, sitting behind her.

"Stop what?" she blinked at him.

He kept his eyes on her back, "Pretending like it's nothing.  
You're trying to point out how small they are. But that doesn't mean a damn thing. Turn around."

She turned, and reaching up over her head, grabbed the back of her tank, and yanked it up, exposing her back.  
She never even stop to consider how relaxed they were around each other now.  
Less than a year ago they would both have been blushing terribly.  
But so much had happened...and he was literally too upset to be the least bit embarassed.

She shivered slightly as the cold cream touched her skin, "Well, they _are_ small. Band-aids cover them.  
They're not deep, and they're not big."

"I made _holes_ in your flesh," he grated.

She looked over her shoulder at him, "So do mosquitoes!"

He suddenly met her eyes, furious, and held up a hand, fingers crooked, claws sharp, "Do they look like fucking mosquitoes to you!?"

Kagome bit her tongue, turning her head away, looking at her feet, "They look like your hands. The same hands that have saved my life hundreds of times, that's what they look like."

She heard him curse under his breath, "You're too stupid to breathe, you know that?"

"Seeing I haven't suffocated yet, I beg to disagree!"

Kagome felt him applying the band-aids to her back. They sat in silence, him working quietly on her small wounds, Kagome watching the river as the light got low. After he put the last one on, he spoke, "Where else?"

"What?"

"Where else? Where else are you hurt?"

Kagome tugged down her tank, and turned, looking back at him, "That's it."

The minute she looked back, he dropped his eyes, keeping them on her back.

The whole time he had been in the river, washing the stench of her blood off of him, all he could think about was that tattered shirt.

For a shirt to be that tattered...but not the flesh beneath...meant it had been torn _off_ the flesh.

Her shirt...

Her bare back, abraded...

"Why didn't you get Sango or Kaede to do this?" he asked, angry.

"Because it's no one else's business, is it?"

InuYasha clenched his fists. 'Business'? Is that was it was?

"So. Tell me what happened."

She sighed, and leaned away, rotating on her butt until she was facing him. He instantly leaned back, trying to put distance between them, almost flinching.

Kagome grew angry, and reached out, grabbing his hand, "Will you look at me? You didn't do anything to me except scratch me! Most of what I got I got when I fell!"

InuYasha couldn't meet her eyes, not yet. He tried to focus on her stomach, but that was awkward, and lifting his eyes meant he was now staring at her boobs. _More_ awkward. His eyes fell on her most recent wound, where the arrow had been, and he noticed she had smeared some ointment on it badly.

He reached out, gently smoothing down the ointment, lightly touching the stitches that marred her flesh.

Kagome blinked at him as he paused, gently running his fingertips over the scar above it, the old scar.

"You should never have come to this world," he said quietly.

Kagome blinked again, and an irrational surge of anger welled up in her. She leaned forward, and with the palm of her hand, smacked him in the forehead.

He blinked, "Hey!"

"Don't you start that! I _hate_ it when you do that! You act like I had no say in anything that happened to me! Ever! Yes I came here by accident! But everything that ever happened after that was my decision!"

He blinked at her, startled, and lost, as she continued to berate him, "I appreciate that you want to protect me, and want to keep me safe, and when I first came over here I really really loved it, and I _still_ love that you feel that way but I'm getting really annoyed when you keep treating me like I'm some sort of crystal vase that someone took to a baseball game and dropped, and everyone was like, "Why did you bring a crystal vase to a baseball game, you _know_ what was going to happen!" and I'm not a crystal vase-!" Kagome took a deep breath - "I'm a person with my own ideas and thoughts and I belong here, damnit, I _belong_ here and if I get hurt so what everyone else does too, you'd have scars if you weren't a hanyou Sango has scars, Miroku has scars everyone has scars! If you think I'm going to go home and stop everything because I keep getting scars then you're stupid!"

She took another breath, and sat there, glaring at him, panting.

InuYasha blinked at her a few times, and hesitantly spoke, "Are...you done?"

Kagome blinked, and suddenly turned red, "Yeah...yeah, I'm..I'm good."

InuYasha cleared his throat, "I only meant if you had stayed in your own world-"

"I would never have met you, or Sango, or Miroku or Shippo. I would never have learned how strong I can be.  
And let me tell you something, InuYasha, I wouldn't trade _any_ scar I have for that!"

He looked away, not sure what to say, or do, ears half-lowered. He glanced at her, and she glanced away, suddenly not sure what to say or do either.

He found his voice again, "Now tell me what happened."

Kagome groaned, dropping her head in her hands, "Why won't you listen to me? I keep telling you-"

She stopped when she felt him take her wrists, and then her hands. She lifted her head, looking at him, and her voice faltered.

He sat there, looking at her, and he looked so lost. Even his ears were drooped, "Because you're lying, Kagome.  
I can tell you're lying. You're doing it to keep from hurting me, and...I love you for it."

Kagome felt herself blush.  
She opened her mouth to speak, but he spoke again, "But I need to know. Not because I need to be punished, but because I need to know how serious it's gotten.  
You always 'sat' me before I could hurt you. Why didn't you do it this time? And I need to know...how far I went. I _need_ to know, because...this has to stop."

"What do you mean, it has to stop? How are you going to stop it?"

"I don't know!" he said, suddenly angry, "Maybe I'll just tie the Tetsusaiga to my Godsdamned hand for the rest of my life!"

"Oh right, like that's an option."

Kagome suddenly realized he was still holding her hands, and she started to pull them back, but he tightened his hold, turning his gaze on them instead of her face, and spoke, fighting to keep his voice level, "How far did I go?"

"Well you obviously didn't kill me," she said, not understanding what he was getting at, "You can see I'm sitting here-"

He shut his eyes, angry, ears flat, _"Your shirt was torn off and your back is ripped up, how far did I go, Kagome, tell me!"_

Kagome blinked, and suddenly squeezed his hands, tight, "_No! No, nothing!_ That didn't happen, InuYasha, no!"

He opened his eyes, looking straight into her eyes, "You tell me the _truth!"_

"I am! It was only my _shirt_, not my _pants_!"

"You might have put them on before-"

"No. No. No." she shook her head violently, her hair flying around her, "And no and no. I promise, InuYasha, I swear, I swear on my own _life_ you didn't rape me, no. Nothing."

He swallowed, looking at her. She'd lie. He knew she'd _lie_-

Reading his eyes, she spoke, "No. I wouldn't lie. I know how important this is to you, and I wouldn't lie. You _didn't_."

He swallowed again, and looked away, squeezing her hands tight, his voice shaking, "Well...good. Ok. Ok."

He took a deep, steadying breath, and then looked back to her, still keeping her hands, and spoke, "Now. Tell me everything."

Kagome nodded, and started speaking. She didn't want to hurt him...but at the same time, she had to respect his right to know.  
It was his _body_. _She_ wouldn't want to be lied to, and neither would he.

"I came through the well, and when I got here, I saw that demon thing. Destroyed. I saw you, here, in the field, and knew you had fought it, so I came over to you, and you ... you were..."

"Yeah," she heard disgust in his face, "Keep going."

"So...when I saw it was you, I pulled back, and we wrestled, and I -"

"Clarify 'wrestle', damnit."

"Ok we fought," she snapped, "It's how I got scratched up. You scratched me and I smacked you, and you threw me on the ground, and then you..." she paused, "you talked to me."

Anger crossed his face, "Damnit, stop _lying_! I didn't _talk_! If I threw you-"

"I swear, you did, you _spoke_ to me! You asked me why I had a guard around me."

He stopped, narrowing his eyes, "What do you mean?"

"That's what you said, InuYasha, you said, "Why is there a guard around you?" "

InuYasha looked at her, confused, "What?"

" "Why is there a guard around you? Who are you?" That's what you said."

"What did that mean, a guard?"

"I don't..." she stopped, frowning slightly.

"What?"

She shook her head, but he leaned forward, "_What?"_

"He said...he said...I said..."It's your Kagome, remember?" and he said...he said, "Not mine. No. _His_. He has guards around you. You are untouchable to him." "

She fell silent, uneasy and uncomfortable.

He looked down at her hands, saying nothing. There was nothing to be said. He had made his position and feelings very clear, several times.  
He wondered, though, if she even noticed she had said "your Kagome".

"What else?" he asked softly.

"I asked where the Tetsusaiga was, and he ...you..._he_ said he didn't need a sword, he _had_ swords."

"What did-"

"Claws."

He cursed.

Kagome did not tell him he had licked her blood from his claws.

"Why didn't you 'sit' me, Kagome?!"

"I couldn't."

"Why not!?"

"I..just...cou-"

"Tell me!"

Kagome closed her eyes for a second, then opened them, and looked at him, "Because you were lying on top of me and I thought if I sat you I might be crushed."

An awful look crossed his face, and he tightened his grip on her hands, and he half whispered, "I...I _was_ on top of you."

"Yeah."

He looked away for a second, glaring death into the forest, a muscle jumping in his jaw for a second, as he fought down his anger. After a second, he looked back, nodded, "Alright. Then what?"

"Listen a second. For him to call you _him_ means _he_ considers himself a separate entity."

"So what?! So do I. Then what?"

"Don't you think that's important?"

"I think you're trying to change the subject."

She blinked, startled he had seen thought it so quickly.

"I...wasn't, actually," she said lamely, "I _do_ think it's important."

"Keep _going,_ Kagome."

"Well...you're not going to believe this, but I swear it's true...I literally did the "look over there!" thing, and he looked, and I rolled out from in under him and yelled "sit!" and that was it."

InuYasha noticed she was no longer saying "you", but "him", and loved her for it. She was trying to keep the separate entities far apart. But it was still him. He had still done it.

"Yeah. Ok. And how did you shirt get torn up like that?"

"When we were fight-"

"Kagome..." he fought to keep his voice from becoming angry at her, "That shirt is too damn tore up for it to have happened in a fight.  
There would be the same wounds on your skin. Godsdamnit _tell me what happened!"_

"It doesn't matter!"

_"It matters to me!"_

Kagome pulled back one of her hands, and rubbed her face, "Ok, fine, fine fine. He...he asked if maybe you would share me-"

His hands tightened around hers.

"-and I said you didn't share. And he...he started to tear...at the shoulder."

"_Oh Godsdamnit,"_ he hissed.

"_That's_ when I did the 'hey look' thing and got away. The shirt was completely torn when I rolled away, ok? He didn't actually tear it off!"

"Because I didn't get the chance, that's all!"

He let go of her hands, and stood up, turning, walking from her.

Kagome crawled to her feet, staggering after him, "Hey, wait, where are you going?"

"I don't know!" he suddenly yelled, stopping, turning and looking at her, "I don't know. I just want to run...I'm dangerous to you-"

"No, _he's_ dangerous to me-'

_"Stop it!_ I know what you're trying to do but it's still _me_, Kagome! Different people, same body!"  
He sank his hands in his hair in frusteration, then turned, snarling, and slammed his fist into a tree.

"Stop that!" she half staggered to him, and grabbed his shoulder, "That won't help anything!"

"What am I supposed to do!?" he yelled, turning to her, "Everytime that _thing_ shows up it gets worse!  
Next time what if I _rape_ you? _Kill_ you!? It's getting interested in you. You've always been able to 'sit' me back to normal, but this time I could have..."

"But you didn-"

"Just...stop."

He took a deep breath, "I'm lea-"

She cut him off, "Oh no, you're not leaving!"

He blinked, "Kagome-"

"No! You're not leaving! I know you by now and you're thinking you'll just run away or something, keep us all safe by disappearing or something, but it's not going to work!  
We love you and we'll just follow you so it's not going to work, so just shut up and stay here!"

InuYasha paused, and started her by faintly smiling, his features softening. He reached out, and took her hand.  
Kagome blinked, confused, suddenly uneasy, _Oh no, did I say I loved him? I'm sure I said 'we' loved him!_

"I was going to say," he said lowly, "That I'm leaving to see Master Akira."

"Oh." Her face felt hotter than the sun.

"You're not getting rid of me that easy," he said quietly, repeating what she had told him the night she had been shot.

"I...I knew that. I just thought-"

He let her hand go, "I'll take you to Kaede's, then I'm heading there. Maybe he knows of something."

"I'll come t-"

"No."

"InuYasha-"

"_No_, Kagome. I...I don't want anyone with me. Thanks, but no. And...thank you, for what you just said."

He picked up her backpack, slipping it on, although it hung crazily with one strap almost broken, and picked her up, running with her down into the village.  
He deposited her just outside the hut, and put her backpack on the ground.

"Wait," she said, "You're not going to pack some food or anything?"

"I'll travel light," he shrugged, crossing his arms, slipping into his defensive posture, "I can fish if I need it. If I run, I'll be at Master Akira's by dawn, and I know he's going to want to shove some food in me before we even talk. I'll be ok."

She paused, watching him, suddenly not wanting him to go. It seemed wrong, that he was going out to do this all on his own. He should have support, have his friends with him.

"InuYasha, you promise me you're going to come back no matter what you discover."

He blinked at her, "What?"

"You heard me. No matter what you discover, you're coming back, right?"

"Of course I-"

"_InuYasha._"

He lowered his arms, turning towards her.  
Kagome stood, watching him, and there was such an open look on her face, a look he hadn't seen in a long, long time. She was concerned, and it was more than a friend's concern.  
He swallowed, and his heart started to pound. He wanted to walk towards her, and say something, _anything_, but suddenly the Kageri's voice was in his head.

_"If you start talking to her about how you feel, especially hinting that you are aware that perhaps she feels the same, I tell you Nushi will __**bolt**__."_

He cleared his throat, but forced himself to stay where he was, and spoke levelly, "I'm not going anywhere, Kagome. I told you that. I'll come back. I promise."

She paused, watching him, and spoke quietly, "I'm holding you to that, InuYasha."

InuYasha watched her face, taking it in, silent, and then nodded. He turned, and lunged into the forest, disappearing in the shadows of the trees, gone in seconds.

She stayed that way a while, then spoke to herself, "You better come back, you idiot."


	3. Chapter 3

He ran through the forest, fairly skimming over the ground. It had been a while since he had really been able to just run flat out like that, and even though his mind was in turmoil, it felt good. The muscles in his legs stretched and flexed, and it felt good to be moving.

He knew the way to Akira's place, pretty much knew it by heart, now.  
Over the past year, they had all gone to him for help with one thing or another. He was a strange old man, kept strange ways. But he had the biggest library of scrolls of anyone in the land, and what wasn't in his scrolls was probably in his head.

InuYasha didn't understand how a person could spend their entire life just _reading_ and _researching_ and _studying_, especially if you didn't _have_ to, the way Kagome did.

But, he had to admit, the old man was certainly useful to know.

Hours passed, the moon rose, and the moon set. He paused, only once, to take a deep drink from a river, and to catch his breath, and then he was on again.

He arrived at Master Akira's house just at dawn, as the sun was starting to rise.  
He stood outside the huge house, watching quietly, ears pricked, listening for any sounds of activity inside.  
While he normally would have just barged in, waking him up, Master Akira could be damned prickly at times, and it wouldn't do any good to piss him off. He was also somewhat absent-minded, and InuYasha wanted his mind in top form.

The hanyou suddenly remembered the time that both he and Kagome had walked out here after having that horrible fight. The Twins had just shown up again, and they had...

The Twins had separated them, and each had thought they were with the other one...alone.

He had kissed Xether, thinking it was Kagome, and Xanter had bitten Kagome on the neck...

They had both been upset, furious, and in their anger and hurt, had taken it out on each other. Horrible things had been said.

It had been Master Akira that had isolated them both in that room, forcing them to stay in there, together, until they had talked it out. It had been Master Akira that had told them that, in a weird way, the ability to hurt each other so much only meant they both loved each other that much. A person you thought little of had no power to hurt.  
Each had known exactly what would hurt the most, and in their own frantic anger, had reached for that.

It had been Master Akira that had given them all the Bloodstones, so that the Twins could no longer fool them with their disguises.

InuYasha blinked as he saw the Master's servant walk past a window, carrying something.

He moved up to the door, and pulled the bellpull, hearing the ringing inside. He waited a second, and the door slid open.

"Hmm? Yes?"

InuYasha noticed right away this was a new servant, not the timid, nervous, unpleasant one that had been there the last time. He approved. _That_ guy had been a jerk.

"Is Master Akira up? I need to talk to him."

"Master Akira has just risen, yes, but has not yet had breakfast. If you would wait there, I will tell him you are here."

InuYasha nodded, crossing his arms, tapping his fingers, waiting, as the man disappeared back inside the house. Well, at least this time he hadn't been forced to tear a door out of the wall like the _last_ time.

"InuYasha!"

InuYasha blinked, startled to see the old man step out into the sunlight, still in his sleeping gown, smiling, "It's very early this morning for a visit."

"Uh...yeah." InuYasha blinked again. Did the old man somehow look...smaller?

The smile left, "For such an early morning visit, I have the very bad feeling that something is wrong."

"You could say that, yeah."

Master Akira sighed, "Well, come in, come in. Tell me what the matter is."

He led InuYasha into the house, sliding shut the door behind him, and walked towards his "visiting" room.  
InuYasha couldn't help but notice as he walked that the Master's robes seemed to hang a little more on the old man's frame.

He was thinner, too.

"Hey, are you sick?" he suddenly blurted.

Master Akira stopped, looking back at the hanyou, and InuYasha suddenly realized that Akira _was_ smaller. He was stooped a little.

The Master smiled kindly, "No, not ill, InuYasha, not exactly. Do I look terrible?"

"Uh," InuYasha suddenly found himself uneasy, and turning red, "No, I didn't mean that."

Akira chuckled, "It's a strange illness that creeps up on you when you're not looking, and tends to do rather mean things to you."

"Well, what about a cure? You've got hundreds of healing scrolls here, haven't you looked?"

Akira entered the visiting room, a lovely pale blue room with a stream artifically introduced, entering one wall, trickling over some rocks, and exiting again, filling the room with the soft sound, "I fear there's no cure for this illness, InuYasha. Or rather, there is, but it's not one I wish to partake of yet."

"What do you mean?" he demanded, plunking down on a cushion.

Master Akira smiled kindly at him, "It's called age, InuYasha."

InuYasha blinked.

The old master started laughing, "Your face! Ah, yes, to the young, it makes no sense, does it? It's stealing a few inches off my frame every few years, takes a pound here and there. Ah, but I'm still besting it yet! It's an advesary that will best me some day, but I do delight in keeping it at bay until then!"

InuYasha looked at his feet, suddenly uncomfortable. He had never actually thought about Master Akira being old, not like _that_.

A small, nasty voice in his head reminded him that that same advesary would be stalking his friends and Kagome too, in time.

"Now then," Master Akira said, "What's the problem, young man?"

"I...uh..." InuYasha blinked, suddenly realizing he didn't exactly know how to start.

He took a breath, and started talking, having to backtrack a lot, just laying down the groundwork, as it were, for what was going on. To his relief, Master Akira caught on rather quickly.

"So it's the sword that prevents you from changing into this...demon?"

"Yeah."

"Which of your parents was the demon, InuYasha?"

"My father."

"And he was very powerful?"

InuYasha's voice became mocking and bitter, "Yeah, I guess too damn powerful, at least for me. Turns out I can't handle his blood inside me. So I turn into a raging monster. Nice gift, huh?"

"I have heard worse," Master Akira said, startling him, "So it's only when you are in danger of losing your life that this happens?"

"Yes. And...no." He frowned.

"Oh?"

"Something's...been happening lately. We were attacked, and...I turned. But I wasn't being physically attacked. Just..."

"Explain. I need to understand if I am to help."

"Two of the Shadelings had Kagome. And they were hurting her. They made me bow down on the ground, saying they would kill her if I didn't. So I did. And I was so..." he clenched his fists, remembering the fury, the humiliation, but hearing Kagome crying in pain.

"You were angry, and embarassed, and mortified, and so on and so on, yes, I understand a young man's mind. Keep going."

InuYasha unclenched his fist, and spoke, "And I felt the change, and...I turned."He looked at Master Akira, "It's the first time I turned when I wasn't under some physical attack. I don't know what happened there. Unless hearing Kagome in pain...was like a physical attack..."

"Hmmm. Perhaps. I may have an idea, but keep going. You said something happened yesterday?"

InuYasha paused, and then spoke again, "Yeah. I turned. I had been fighting a demon, and I lost Tetsusaiga, and I turned. And I...I attacked Kagome."

Master Akira leaned forward a little, "What happened?"

"I...apparently I talked to her. _He_ talked to her."

"It _spoke_?"

"Yeah..."

"What did it say?"

"It told her that it could sense that I...that I...protected her. Kept her safe. But it..."

He clenched his jaw, suddenly angry, eyes on his feet, and fought to keep it in check. Akira waited.

"It became...interested...in her, and...tore...her shirt up."

It was quiet in the room, the water trickling happily to the side. Master Akira spoke again.

"What do you mean by 'interested', InuYasha?"

InuYasha raised his eyes, glaring at Akira, silent.

The old man spoke, "I wish to spare your feelings, but if I am to help you, I can not be in any doubt about anything."

InuYasha spoke in low, level tones, "I was _tearing her shirt off_, what do _you_ think it means?"

"So it has become physically attracted to her."

InuYasha looked away again, "Yeah."

Silence for a moment.

He spoke again, "These Beads of Subjugation...Kagome has always been able to keep it in check, because for some reason, 'sit'ting me causes the effect to stop. I instantly revert. But this time I...she couldn't do it because I was _on_ her. These damn beads bring me down pretty damned hard, and she was already injured from before, and..."

Master Akira nodded, quiet.

"And if it happened once, it could happen again," he said, angry, "and I need to find a way to get rid of that fucking bastard once and for all."

Master Akira leaned back, closing his eyes for a minute. InuYasha watched him, quietly desperate, trying to ignore the happy little gurgling stream.

Just when he was about to explode, impatient, the old man opened his eyes, "I think I can remember reading about something somewhat similar to this a year or two ago. I didn't read too deeply, for I wasn't aware at that time that you suffered from the same thing."

He slowly rose to his feet, InuYasha jumping up and looking down at him. The old man called out to his servant, who came in.

"Bring InuYasha something to eat. I'll be in my library, looking for some old scrolls."

"But Master Akira, you haven't eaten yet!" the servant chided.

"Actually, I was up last night for a snack after you went to bed. I'm afraid you'll find the last of the kimichi is gone. I'm quite fine for now."

The servant looked startled.

InuYasha spoke, "I don't need anything, I just-"

"Stay and eat. I'm not sure how long I'll be. If you are feeling guilty about something, there is some wood out back that needs to be chopped, turn your strength to that."

Despising chopping wood, InuYasha nevertheless nodded, and Master Akira turned, slipping out into the hall.

By the time the old man called for him, InuYasha had a large pile of firewood stacked against the side of the house. He hated boring, repetitive chores, but it did have the desired effect of keeping him busy.

InuYasha walked inside, back into that damned cheery room, and sat across from Master Akira. The old man was sitting on a cushion, surrounded by scrolls, bits of paper, parchment, even a wood carving or two.

"Now then. I managed to find some information on cases quite similar to yours."

InuYasha blinked at all the scrolls and paper, "Are all these people like me?"

"No. I found only two other cases similar to yours. All these scrolls and writings _refer_ to them, in one manner or another. The last case occured...let me see..." he picked up a scroll and squinted at it, "...over 175 years ago. In all cases, one of the parents is an extremely powerful demon, the other a human. Unlike you, InuYasha, they did not have a talisman."

"A what?"

"A talisman, to keep the change at bay. Your Tetsusaiga. So for them, it was worse. They had no way of attempting to stop the change."

He looked closely at InuYasha, "Let me explain what has happened to you."

"I _know_ what's happened!" InuYasha hollared, "My old man is more powerful than me and I can't handle his blood, so I turn into a monster!"

Master Akira shook his head, "There is more than that, that is just one part of it."

InuYasha settled back.

"Hanyou, such as yourself, are half human, and half demon. Normally, the two 'halves' cannot be separated. In your case, they are, there are two sides to you."

InuYasha nodded, "When I'm human, and when I'm demon."

"No. When you are human, you are still InuYasha. A _human_ InuYasha, but still InuYasha. Do you understand what I am saying?"

InuYasha looked somewhat confused, "What do you mean?"

"When you are a human, do you think differently from when you are hanyou? Do you do things you would not do if you were hanyou?"

"I...No. But I can't see as good or hear as good, and I don't get distracted as much because I can't-"

"Those are _physical_ differences, InuYasha. I'm talking _mental and spiritual._ Let me put it this way...if there were a person drowning in a river, would it make any difference if you were hanyou, or human, in whether or not you would jump in to save them?"

"Hell no!"

"Then your human self and your hanyou self are no different. So there are _two_ separate _persons_ residing in your body. InuYasha. And this...other."

InuYasha listened.

"The...'other'... is basically your demonic powers at their peak. But they have no bind to keep them in check.  
It has superiority over you. _It_ decides when to appear. _It_ wants to survive, as _you_ do, and so _it_ takes over to ensure you survive. But it has no boundaries. It wants what it wants, and will take what it wants. The fact that it knew _of you_ indicates it considers you not only separate, but inferior. It does not trust you to ensure it survives. And once it is awake, it _likes_ being awake, and will not leave."

The river trickled in the sudden silence.

"So what the hell do I do?" he asked, "I can't fight it!"

"But that is _exactly_ what you are going to have to do."

InuYasha blinked, leaning back on his cushion.

Master Akira pointed to several scrolls, "In both of these other cases, the main personality, what I will call 'InuYasha', had to confront the other personality, whom I will here call Ikiryo, and defeat it."

InuYasha narrowed his eyes. An Ikiryo was like a living ghost, a spirit that survived outside the body. A separate soul.

Master Akira watched him, "It is how you will have to start thinking of the other, InuYasha. As a separate person. Call him by that name when you think of him. Ikiryo."

It felt somewhat stupid, calling that other by a separate name, when he knew it was _himself_.

"And just how am I supposed to fight him? Punch myself in the face?"

"No. That, I will help you with. You will battle Ikiryo in your own consciousness. You must show him you are superior to him. You are in control, and he can only appear when you _want_ him to appear, and only at your sufferance."

"I don't want that thing _ever_ showing up!"

"Don't be hasty. It is a part of you. A part that if you use it properly, can help you. If you deny Ikiryo existance, he will not submit. And you will be forever in battle."

"Not if I kill him!"

Master Akira shook his head, "You cannot kill him, InuYasha, because he is still a part of you! You cannot kill him, you have to subdue him."

InuYasha fell silent.

Master Akira spoke again, "What I think is happening lately, is that there are times you are so frightened about your friends, about their safety, about Kagome's safety, that you are reaching for the strength the Ikiryo brings, in order to save your friends. But as I said, once he is out..."

InuYasha glared at his feet again. How was he going to fight that...thing? It didn't feel _pain_, it just kept coming and coming until what it was fighting was dead...or it was.

_Can I beat it?_

"So how do I do this? In my own consciousness, what the hell do you mean by that?"

"Well...I have to make you a special brew. You will drink it, and you will fall asleep. You will awaken within yourself, and there you and the Ikiryo will face each other."

"And how do I know if I've won if I can't kill him?"

"He will have to tell you he submits. That he submits to you, will listen to you, do as you say, arrive when you call, and leave when you tell it to."

"And then what, I wake up, and live happily ever after?" his voice was mocking.

"Hopefully, yes," Master Akira said simply, "You will be able to call on your demonic heritage easier. Or not, as you wish. Either way, it must begin listening to you."

"That thing is a monster, it doesn't think normally!" InuYasha suddenly yelled, "Why the hell should it listen to me?"

"Because you are the original, InuYasha. You are the true. He is a _part_ of the complete, while you _are_ the complete. It must learn to respect you."

He shook his head, full of doubts. It sounded insane, like something Miroku would be talking about, different personalities, different entities, the true person and the false. He never understood it when it related to someone else, how was he supposed to understand it now?

He nodded towards all the scrolls and papers, "And those two others did this, and it worked?"

Master Akira fell quiet for a second, then spoke gently, "No. It worked for one, but not for the other."

InuYasha blinked, "What happened to the other one?"

"The secondary entity overpowered the original one, and won. _It_ became the superior one, and the original one was lost."

Blinking again, InuYasha leaned forward, "Are you saying if I lose that thing might be here permanently?"

"It is possible, yes."

"And were you going to tell me this!?"

Master Akira looked annoyed, "Of course I was! I wouldn't let you do anything without knowing everything I know about this, InuYasha."

The hanyou took a deep breath, looking down at his hands, resting in his lap. What was he going to do? Did he want to try and risk it? What if he lost? That...thing...would be around forever. No one would be safe.

But if he didn't do this...it could happen again. And again. Next time he - _Ikiryo_ - might succeed in doing more to Kagome than just ripping up her shirt. Miroku, Sango, little Shippo, everyone else, they were in danger from him, too. And he didn't know if Kagome would always be there, either.  
So far he had been lucky enough to have had her around when it happened. What if it happened when she was back in her own world?

He looked at his claws, seeing again her blood on them, her blood on his hands.

_I just can't risk it anymore. I have to try this. I have to __**do**__ this. I have to get it...Ikiryo, under control._

He nodded, then looked up at Master Akira, "Two questions. First, when will we do this?"

"I can start on the brew as soon as I have something to eat. It should take an hour or so, so any time this afternoon. It's up to you."

InuYasha nodded.

"And the second?"

InuYasha met his eyes, "Do you have a big cage?"


	4. Chapter 4

InuYasha had gone out into the backyard to prepare. He refused the food Master Akira offered him, wanting to be more alert, more _lean_ in a way. Besides...if this failed, hunger was the least of his worries.

But he spent time just walking around, feeling the grass under his feet, the wind against his face. Reminding himself of what it felt like to be alive. He didn't know if he would be able to sense anything ever again, if he lost, and so wanted something to hold as a memory.

Not that that really mattered either. If he lost, he had a plan.

He removed Tetsusaiga, and looked down at the sheath strap that was tied to the top of the sheath, a small black tassle hanging below it.

A gift. A _birthday_ gift. From her.

_I wish I could see her here now, and tell her what she means to me. In case I lose. But I know what she'd say if she __**was**__ here. She'd try to stop me from doing this. She'd get upset, and try to stop this. Because she'd be scared._

He faintly smiled at the sheath.

_You know me better than anyone, Kagome, but I think I know __**you**__ better than anyone, too._

InuYasha suddenly remembered her face, as she looked at him outside Kaede's hut.

She hadn't been looking at him like a friend. Not then. She had let him hold her in that cave...had pulled her to him when he had been sorrowing over Izumi, and had _held_ him...

But that look on her face last night...

_There is a chance. There is. I saw it last night. If I had had the time...if I had been able to take her away somewhere where we could be alone, and had been able to take her hands...despite what DarkWind said...more might have come of it._

He slid the Tetsusaiga back into his hakama, grinning.

_Listen to me. I sound like some stupid love-struck cow. It doesn't matter what __**might**__ have happened, what matters is what is __**going**__ to happen! I'm not losing to that monster! And I'm getting her back! Plain and simple!_

He turned, and marched back inside, looking for Master Akira.

He found the old man in another room, this one he had never seen before.  
It was a room that shared a wall with the outter wall, and there was old, dried up hay scattered around on the ground. A large metal cage stood in the middle of the room, several chains and things hanging from eyebolts driven into the wall.

The old man turned, looking at InuYasha. There was an evident look of distaste on his face, one that InuYasha ignored.

"What's this place?"

"I have been called upon from time to time to heal sick animals, horses, cows, things of that nature. A friend once had something called a Rhinocerous that was ill. This is the cage we used while it improved. InuYasha...are you certain-"

"Yes," InuYasha said, cutting him off, "If I fight that thing, and _if_ it wins...I can't get out. I'll kill everything I see, including you, old man.  
You remember that if you start feeling pity."

Master Akira sighed deeply.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something."

"Yes? Anything, young man."

InuYasha gazed into the cage, not looking at Master Akira at all, "If I _do_ lose, and that thing wins...I won't be able to come back, will I?"

The old man said nothing, just watched InuYasha's face in silence.

After a second or two, the hanyou turned to him, angry, _"Well!?"_

"It would be extremely unlikely, InuYasha. If it defeats you, I do not think even Kagome's word of subjugation would work."

InuYasha looked back at the cage, taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly.

"That's what I thought. In that case, if I don't win, you have to take care of me."

"InuYasha," Master Akira said kindly, "I would not let you waste away in there, starving to death, or-"

"That's _not_ what I mean by taking care of me, old man! I mean you have to kill me!"

Akira blinked, his wrinkled face looking shocked, "What?"

"I have no desire what so ever to live out whatever remains of my life like some demented thing stuck in a cage, ready to tear the head off anyone that wanders too close! And I sure as hell don't want to be _remembered_ that way either! Just kill me!"

"Just like that?" Master Akira looked angry now, "You think I can kill someone I call a friend that easily?"

"I _won't_ be your friend any more, Master Akira. 'InuYasha' will be gone. That...Ikiryo will be there.  
And he's no one's friend. You won't be able to get close enough to me to use swords, I can reach through the bars...get some soldiers in here and use crossbows. Make sure you keep your distance, understand?"

"I cannot do such a thing!"

"If you want to help me, then _help_ me, damnit! _I'll_ be dead already, you'll just be getting rid of something in my body."  
InuYasha clenched his fists, and fought to control his anger, "It won't be me, Master Akira. If my face looks different, my voice...if my eyes are red, and...then kill me."

"And what would I tell your friends, InuYasha? You know if you do not return in several days they will come looking for you."

"Tell them..." he fell silent for a moment, then spoke calmly, "Tell them the truth. I finally found someone stronger than me, and I died."

The old man sighed deeply, his old face sorrowed, "I begin to wish I had never found the scrolls I searched for."

"Yeah, well, this is what I want, not you. Now...where's this brew?"

Master Akira held out a cup of something...when InuYasha took it, he could already smell it, and he wrinkled his nose.

"Why do medicines and things always taste like crap?"

He opened the door, and walked inside, hunching a little to do so. The cage was roomy, at least, and the bars looked strong enough. The whole cage was metal, there was no wood, so hopefully-

_Shut up that talk! You're going to win._

He pulled Tetsusaiga out of his hakama, and held it out through the bars to Master Akira, "Take this."

"InuYasha?"

"Take it! Ikiryo said he didn't need a sword, but I'd rather _he_ not touch it. Take it out of the room altogether. I'll...I'll get it when I wake up."

"Of course." The old man held the sword carefully, reverently.

InuYasha seated himself on the dusty floor, and glared at the cup.

"Here goes," he plugged his nose, and gulped the bitter drink down in two huge gulps. InuYasha tossed the cup out of the cage, and shuddered, eyes squeezed shut.

"What was in that, dead mice?"

Master Akira sat on the floor outside the cage, out of reach of the hanyou, watching quietly. InuYasha glanced at him, "What are you doing?"

"Waiting."

"For what?"

Akira smiled gently, "For you to return, of course. I shall wait for you here, InuYasha. If you do not mind."

InuYasha gazed at him quietly for a second, then spoke, "You might be waiting a while, old man."

"Regardless, I shall wait, and see who wakes up. I may not be able to aid you, but I can at least wait with you."

InuYasha looked away, looking down at his feet.

"Thanks."

A minute passed, then two. After a third, he started to turn to Akira, to ask when the brew was supposed to work, when the room suddenly seemed to lurch to the side, tipping.

"Whoa," InuYasha instinctively grabbed for something to steady himself, but there was nothing to grab, and he felt himself topple over onto his side.

Everything swam.

"InuYasha?" Master Akira's voice sounded miles away.

"Dizzy...nng...blurry..."

"Don't fight it, then. Close your eyes. You're likely to get sick if you fight."

InuYasha laid his head on the bottom of the cage, watching everything seem to swim around him. But his stomach didn't like that, so he closed his eyes, and felt like he was falling down a long tunnel.

There had been something he had been going to say, something important, but it didn't seem to matter anymore, and he dropped.

Master Akira watched the hanyou lay on his side, golden eyes unfocused, eyelids getting heavy. After a second, his eyes closed, and his body seemed to relax. He lay on the bottom of the cage like some exotic creature, brilliant crimson and silver against the muted grey of the cage, and the old man suddenly had a terrible feeling, a horrible desire to stand and throw open the cage door, to drag the hanyou outside. It suddenly seemed so painfully _wrong_ to see such a lively character as InuYasha behind bars.

_May the Gods go with you, and help you succeed. _

When he awoke, he felt confused and oddly heavy, as if he weighed more than he should. He opened his eyes, looking around, not able to identify anything.  
Slowly, he crawled to his feet, and stood up, looking around.

He seemed to be in some sort of...wasteland. The sky was black, and the ground consisted only of dirt and rocks and the occasional dead tree.

Warily, he looked around, but didn't see anything, didn't see any_one_.

_Where the hell am I? What is this place? Akira said I'd be fighting in my own consciousness. If this is what my mind looks like, I need help._

He instinctively looked down, and was relieved to see Tetsusaiga was at his hip.

Good. He had been afraid that it wouldn't have appeared here with him.

InuYasha cautiously took a few steps, feeling the rocks and dirt under his feet. It was eerily silent here. His ears moved atop his head, listening.

There was no smell here either, he noticed. It was like there was a lack of everything other than sight, and the feel of that dirt underfoot.

So now what? Was he supposed to call Ikiryo out? Whistle? Or was he just-

Something exploded across his back, hard, and he was sent flying, crashing hard into the ground, face first. He felt weight on him, but before he was able to reach back, or to try and flip his attacker off, he felt the weight lift.

InuYasha raised his head in time to see the other...Ikiryo...landing several feet away, back on. He turned, facing him, crouched.

_First point to you, then, you fuck._ InuYasha thought savagely, and pushed himself up to stand.

Ikiryo grinned at him.

InuYasha looked at him, fighting back a deep shudder of revulsion. That thing looked like him, but there was such a look of a savage monster about it. Not even wild animals had that look of evil cunning in them. The fangs were longer, too, sharper. He felt sick thinking about them sinking into Kagome's flesh.

InuYasha had only ever seen Ikiryo in his nightmares. He had had a few since the monster had first appeared, and they were always the same...coming upon the remains of his friends, and seeing that _thing_ crouched over them, like a beast at a carcass.

"Well, well, well," Ikiryo chuckled, "It's the worm. What are you doing _here_, Worm?"

InuYasha tasted blood in his mouth, and spit, "I'm here to put you in your place, you bastard."

"My place?" Ikiryo seemed mockingly surprised, "Where is my place?"

"Your place is where I tell you it is! You've come forward too often, and you think you can stay. I'm here to tell you you're mistaken. You don't come for-"

He broke off when he realized Ikiryo was laughing at him, gleefully.

"What the hell are you laughing at?!"

"You, Worm, tell _me_ where my place is? _You?!_"

"My name is InuYasha. Use it."

"You are Worm," Ikiryo said, grinning nastily, "You are weak like a worm. Pathethic and worthless."

"Shut up!"

Ikiryo lunged.

InuYasha blinked, shocked. He went for Tetsusaiga, but it seemed Ikiryo was on him long before he was ready. He saw claws reaching for his face, and he brought up his hands, grabbing Ikiryo's wrists, struggling.

"You forgo your own weapons for something _made_, something _false_," Ikiryo hissed in his face, "You rely on a false claw, Worm. Pathethic."

Cursing, InuYasha get go of one of Ikiryo's wrists, and grabbed a handful of Ikiryo's haori in his hand. He turned, and threw Ikiryo from himself.

Ikiryo tumbled to the ground, but continued with the motion, rolling up to his feet again, and turned, crouching, watching.

InuYasha watched Ikiryo warily, body tense. Ikiryo was fast, faster than he was. It was going to be a hard fight.

He drew out Tetsusaiga, holding it before him.

"Tsk tsk tsk," Ikiryo grinned.

"Oh _shut up_! I fight how I want to fight! I used my claws plenty before I got this sword, they're still fine!"

Ikiryo watched, grinning.

"Now you listen to me. You're going to learn your place. You're not _real_. I am."

"Not _real_?" Ikiryo laughed, "Those men knew I was real. Their blood was real, too."

"I let you get away with too much," InuYasha said, tightening his grip on the Tetsusaiga, "You woke up one too many times. From now on yo-"

Ikiryo lunged.

This time InuYasha was able to bring up the Tetsusaiga in time, and he used it like a shield, stopping Ikiryo. He heard as well as felt the thing's claws squeal along Tetsusaiga's length. InuYasha planted his feet, and shoved, knocking Ikiryo backwards. The thing landed on it's feet, lunging backwards to put some distance between him and InuYasha, and crouched again, watching.

InuYasha lowered the Tetsusaiga, peering over the top, warily.

Godsdamnit, why was it faster than he was?

Ikiryo spoke, "Did you really think you could best me, Worm? And _here_?"

"I can best you anywhere, it makes no difference."

Ikiryo laughed, "You can't best me. I am stronger than you are. That is why you need me."

"I need you like a hole in the head. You're unstable! You're a savage monster, all you do is kill!"

"I take care of the things too strong for you. That moth demon. The creatures you cannot take on. You needed me when you fought Jemu."

"The hell I did! I fought Jemu without you!"

Ikiryo laughed again, "You were reaching for me, Worm. When your woman started to scream, you reached for _me_, for _my_ strength."

"Then why the hell didn't you show up?!" InuYasha lunged, swinging Tetsusaiga out before him in a wide arc.

Ikiryo dodged backwards, grinning, "Because you were too frightened to let me take over, Worm. You needed my strength, but you were afraid to let me out. You are full of fear."

"Shut up!"

InuYasha lunged again, swinging, and again Ikiryo jumped backwards. InuYasha pressed his advantage, darting forward, forward, swinging.

Ikiryo was always just out of reach, grinning, and InuYasha had the infuriating feeling that the other was just toying with him.

"You are full of fear, Worm. Sometimes you _reek_ of it! You sense my power and you _ooze_ fear like a child!"

"I'm not afraid of you, you bastard!" InuYasha jumped to a boulder, using it as a launching board, diving at Ikiryo, "I just know what insanity you're capable of!"

"Insanity? No...the love of killing. The joy of bringing death to everything."

"That's what I said!" InuYasha hollared, and swung.

Ikiryo dodged the swing, but reached out as the Tetsusaiga swept past, and caught the sword by the back of the blade. He yanked, hard.

Startled, InuYasha staggered forward, and Ikiryo caught him across the face with his claws.

InuYasha bit back his shocked cry, knowing that Ikiryo would be on him in an instant. He tightened his grip on Tetsusaiga's hilt with his left hand, and struck out with a right fist.

He felt a savage glee when he felt his fist connect with something, sending Ikiryo back from him.

InuYasha took several steps backwards, his right hand coming to his face, trying to ignore the burning, stinging sensation. He brought his hand away, red.

He cursed, feeling hot blood trickle into his eyes, and he shook his head a few times, trying to fling the blood clear, keeping it from fouling his vision.

Ikiryo had backed up as well, and was crouching again, watching, grinning. InuYasha couldn't see where he had hit him. Watching Ikiryo crouch like that gave him the creeps.

"You have lost the love of killing," Ikiryo said to him, watching him, "It was always there for you, and for a while, you enjoyed it. But you have lost it. You have become weak. Weak and pathethic."

"Shut up! I'm not the pathethic one, you bastard! I'm sane! _I'm_ the complete! You're just a part of me! A part that I'm shutting down! You're going to listen to me!"

"Or what, Worm? Hmm? What will you do?"

"Use my name, you son of a bitch!" he lunged, and planted his feet. InuYasha called on the WindScar, and was shocked when nothing happened.

Ikiryo laughed loudly, "You cannot use false weapons here, Worm. They are useless. Only true ones exist." Ikiryo held up his hand, his claws gleaming sharp, InuYasha's blood on them. InuYasha bitterly noticed that Ikiryo's claws were longer than his own.

_Great. Ok, fine. There's no reason I can't take this bastard down._

InuYasha sheathed Tetsusaiga, and pulled it from his hakama. He tossed it aside, and raised his own hands, "Fine. Come on then."

"Why have you come _now_, Worm? Why now?"

"Shut up yakkin' and let's go!"

InuYasha lunged, speeding for Ikiryo. If this was going to be an out-and-out brawl, might as well get started!

Ikiryo stood up, and grinning, came at him.

Ikiryo's claws flashed out, but InuYasha ducked backwards, silver hair flipping forward, and he caught Ikiryo's wrist. He turned, and tried to throw him, but Ikiryo twisted, and turning, sunk his teeth into InuYasha's forearm.

InuYasha bit back his cry, his left fist hooking out, and it connected with the side of Ikiryo's face, knocking him clear. Ikiryo's teeth shredded InuYasha's arm as he was knocked free, but InuYasha ignored the pain, lunging again.

Ikiryo set his feet as soon as he came back into contact with the ground, and he lunged forward again.

He struck InuYasha in a football tackle, knocking the wind out of him, throwing him back onto his back, Ikiryo on him.

InuYasha hit the ground hard, fighting for air. He reached up in time to catch Ikiryo's hands as the creature attacked, and they struggled, each baring their teeth in anger.

"Submit to me, you bastard!" InuYasha snarled, but Ikiryo said nothing, only struggled.

Ikiryo leaned forward, his fangs flashing, teeth snapping inches from InuYasha's face.

InuYasha struggled back, cursing. Ikiryo was stronger than he was, for some reason. Maybe it was the madness inside him, but he was stronger.

_He'll have my face in a second, or my throat!_

Snarling, InuYasha raised a leg, and planted his foot squarely in Ikiryo's stomach, and kicked, hard. Ikiryo went flashing back, practically howling in fury.

InuYasha rolled to his feet, turning in place, ready.

Ikiryo and InuYasha stood, glaring at each other, panting. They were pretty much evenly matched, save that Ikiryo seemed a small bit stronger.

_Now what? Grappling's no good, he's stronger than I am. He's faster than I am. Have I slowed down since I got the Tetsusaiga?_

"Ahhhhh," Ikiryo suddenly spoke, "I understand now why you are here. Why now. After all this time.

The woman."

"Shut up," InuYasha panted.

"The woman," Ikiryo said, grinning, "I got too close to your woman."

"I said _shut up_."

"She smells good," Ikiryo said, "So _sweet_. Her blood is salty, and _rich_."

InuYasha lunged, claws out, and Ikiryo laughed, lunging forward again. InuYasha swung, but Ikiryo dodged, and swung. InuYasha managed to dart backwards, but Ikiryo was there, on top of him, and he swung again, and again, and InuYasha was no longer attacking but defending. He was forced to back up, back up, dodging, dodging, and suddenly he was too slow, and Ikiryo's claws sliced into his chest.

InuYasha ignored the pain, and lunged forward, grabbing two handfulls of Ikiryo's silver hair, and setting his feet, thrust Ikiryo backwards, forcing him down to the ground, hard.

InuYasha staggered backwards a few times, ignoring the hot wetness trickling down his stomach, refusing to even look at his injuries.

Ikiryo stood up, his red clothing dusty and dirty from the ground, and he turned again, watching, grinning.

"You are a fool, Worm. You have a woman, yet you have done nothing with her. Are you not attracted to her?

_I_ am."

"Shut up!"

"Don't you know what you are supposed to do with a woman, when you have one, Worm? Or are you stupid as well?"

"This is between you and me, Ikiryo!"

" _'Ikiryo?' _You have given me a name! I accept it. I will need something to be called when I am free of here."

"You aren't _getting_ free, you idiot, haven't you been listening!?"

"Which of us is bleeding, Worm?"

InuYasha panted in fury, glaring.

_"Ka...go..me.._ That is her name."

"_Don't you say her name, you fucker!_"

Ikiryo grinned, repeating it, drawing it out, _"Kaagooomeeee."_

InuYasha shuddered. Even the way he pronounced her name sounded foul and disgusting.

"I almost had her earlier. So warm, and sweet, and salty."

"_Shut up!"_

"I will have her, tasting her blood, her sweat, her tears, her skin-"

InuYasha lunged, screaming, claws out.

Ikiryo laughed, and lunged as well.

They came together, snarling. InuYasha caught Ikiryo's hands, and raising a leg, planted his knee squarely in Ikiryo's stomach.

Ikiryo's breath left, and he staggered slightly.

InuYasha turned, slipping behind Ikiryo, and wrapped his right arm around Ikiryo's throat, catching him in a headlock.

Snarling, Ikiryo reached up, grabbing InuYasha arm, and started trying to break his hold. He sunk his claws deep into InuYasha's flesh, ripping.

Cursing against the pain, InuYasha tightened his arm, flexing the muscles, grabbing his right wrist with his left hand, pulling back with all he had.

Now they were just grappling, wrestling, pure strength against pure strength. Both were cursing, grunting, snarling as they fought.

Ikiryo snarled, his voice strained as his air was limited, "You...can't...kill...me..."

"I don't..._need_...to kill...you...you..._fucker_..."

Ikiryo snarled, and started trying to rise, to pull away from InuYasha, his legs trembling as he pulled against InuYasha.

InuYasha knew he couldn't afford to lose his grip, not now. Ikiryo was physically stronger, and faster. If Ikiryo wanted an animalistic brawl...InuYasha was ready for it.

InuYasha set his feet, leaning back, forcing Ikiryo backwards, bending him back.

Ikiryo snarled, and started to lean forward, starting to pull away from InuYasha, growling like a savage beast.

InuYasha cursed, tightening his grip, arms feeling leaden. Ikiryo had too much power compared to him. He had pure, animal strength. This wouldn't end well.

_He's me. We're alike. How can I weaken..._

InuYasha let Ikiryo pull him forward. He leaned forward, and sank his teeth and fangs into one of Ikiryo's ears.

Ikiryo howled, legs weakening.

Blood filled InuYasha's mouth, and snarling, he yanked his head back, taking a large portion of Ikiryo's ear with him.

Ikiryo howled again, straining.

InuYasha spit out Ikiryo's ear, spitting blood, _"Now who's bleeding you bastard!?"_

Ikiryo's legs were trembling as he fought for air, though he continued to snarl. InuYasha's right arm was starting to go completely numb from the prolonged pressure, but he tightened his grip on his wrist, yanking back harder.

Ikiryo gagged, sagging, starting to sink to the ground, "Worm..."

"My _name_, you bastard! _Say it!_"

"...Worm..."

_"SAY IT!"_

Ikiryo snarled, weakly.

InuYasha panted, not sure how much longer he could keep it up. His arm was starting to tremble, his left arm starting to ache now. He raised one of his legs, planting a knee in Ikiryo's back, pushing.

He couldn't give up.

If he gave up, Ikiryo would just keep coming back. Over and over.

He'd never be free.

He'd always been under the curse.

Kagome would _never_ be safe.

_What do I do if we both pass out? Whoever wakes up first will take out th-_

"InuYasha."

InuYasha panted, pausing. His body was starting to tremble, but Ikiryo's had gone past the point of trembling. He hung there, gasping for air.

"What...did you say?"

Ikiryo's voice was hate-filled, but he spoke, "InuYasha."

InuYasha panted. His whole body was starting to ache.

"Again. Say it again."

Ikiryo snarled, "InuYasha."

InuYasha paused, keeping Ikiryo in a head lock, tight. Just because Ikiryo had said his name didn't necessarily mean anything.

"Now you listen to me," InuYasha said, fighting to keep his voice steady, sounding strong, "You will _not, __**ever**__, _come out unless I _tell_ you you can come out, and you _will leave when I tell you_, understand!?"

There was a pause, but Ikiryo spoke, like a sullen child, "Yes."

"You will respect me. I don't give a Godsdamn if you hate my _guts_, but you will respect me. You will _listen to me and you will respect me and you will __**keep you hands off of Kagome!**_"

"Yes."

InuYasha paused, wary.

He didn't trust Ikiryo.

He didn't trust him as far as he could throw him.

InuYasha took a deep breath, and let him go, lunging backwards, getting clear. His thighs ached, protesting, and when he released Ikiryo, his right arm suddenly screamed in pain, but he moved back, keeping clear, ready.

He watched, panting, as Ikiryo stood up, slowly, gagging and coughing. He paused, and turned, looking at InuYasha.

There was such _hate_ in his eyes, a primal _fury_ there, but he stayed where he was.

InuYasha remained where he was, panting, trying to catch his breath. Everything hurt, but he hid it, not allowing Ikiryo to see any weakness. He still wasn't completely sure he trusted him.

"How did you beat me?" Ikiryo snarled, furious, hate clouding his voice, "How?"

"You fought for dominance," InuYasha panted, "But I had more willpower, because I had more at stake."

"_Her."_

"You wouldn't understand," InuYasha snarled, lowering his voice, "You keep your distance, even if I call you out. You stay away from her. She's not for you. Ever."

Ikiryo snarled, but said nothing. He turned, walking away from InuYasha, not evening wanting to see his face anymore.

InuYasha watched him warily, walking backwards to keep the other in his sight until he was sure Ikiryo was gone.

His legs trembled.

_Everything hurt._

He grinned.


	5. Chapter 5

Master Akira sighed, straightening his old frame as he sat on the cushion, listening to his spine crackle.

His servant peered in around the door, "Master, surely you want something to eat? It's been over 6 hours!"

"I will eat once InuYasha wakes up. Then we will both have something to eat. He'll be hungry."

"Master, what...what if..."

"Hmm?"

The servant looked uneasily at the unconscious hanyou lying on his side in the cage, "What if he wakes up as a monster?"

Akira sighed deeply, "I pray he does not. InuYasha is a rare thing in this world, a truly good soul. He hides it very well, but if there were more like him in this world, it would be a better place."

"Should I see about getting some archers-"

"What you should do," Master Akira said angrilly, "Is starting making us both something to eat!"

"Yes, master," the servant bowed quickly, and turned, skittering out of the room.

Akira sighed again, turning his gaze back to InuYasha.

He leaned back against the wall, and closed his eyes, feeling very, very old.

Several minutes passed, when he heard a faint sound.

Akira opened his eyes to see InuYasha sitting up in the cage, looking around, almost confused.

He blinked, and leaned forward, "InuYasha?"

The hanyou turned, and looked at Akira, and the old man was so relieved to see his bright gold eyes. He smiled.

"I...I'm back," InuYasha said, lamely. He didn't know what to say,and felt absurd looking out through bars at the old man.

"So I see!" Master Akira said joyously, and got to his creaky old legs. He tottered over to the door of the cage, happily unlocking it and opening it.

InuYasha tried to stand, and blinked, startled, when his body protested and he stumbled to his knees.

Akira laughed, "You will find you are weakened, InuYasha, as if you had fought the battle physically. Your mind is more closely linked to your body than you know."

"Yeah," InuYasha said, half walking, half hobbling out of the cage. He slowly stood up, hands at the small of his back, hearing his spine crack.

"May I ask how it went?" Akira asked quietly.

InuYasha blinked down at the old man, and suddenly grinned, "There was never any worry."

Akira smiled, "Of course not."

He stood, watching the moon rising.

For the last month, the skies had always been cloudy, strong winds blowing. Although no rain fell, the temperature had dropped, and at times it was almost chilly.

Perhaps it was time to move south for a while.

The demon Lord turned, looking over his shoulder, at Rin, curled up on her side, sleeping. The giant beast, Ah and Un, lay beside her, both heads asleep. Jakken was sprawled out on his back, snoring loudly.

Sesshomaru watched the little girl sleeping. She had eaten supper, and had gone straight to bed, not feeling well.

She had lost weight.

When he had returned from putting Izumi's remains to rest, both Jakken and Rin had run to him, asking what had happened. They had seen the giant flaming mountain falling from the sky, had been hit by the winds that had set the trees to shaking and swaying. It hadn't been as bad here as it had been down by the water, but it had been enough to startle the little girl.

Sesshomaru had returned, and had watched Rin for a while, studying her.

Sesshomaru had never coddled the child, had always treated her fairly, in his opinion. Certainly there were things he did or said to her that he would not do or say to an adult. She was just a child, and couldn't be expected to be anything less than what she was.

Be he did not believe in hiding reality from a child, either. So he had taken her aside, and had told her that Izumi had died.

Rin had taken it badly, crying herself sick. She had lost interest in food, had lost interest in a great deal. Content to just sit on Ah and Uh and let the animal carry her along behind Lord Sesshomaru. Even Jakken had been upset with the child's sudden sorrow. He attempted to entice her to eat, often demanding she eat something, but she had just quietly refused, and remained very quiet, very still, very sad.

She only ate if Lord Sesshomaru informed her she _had_ to eat. Even in her sorrow, Rin would not disobey her beloved Lord. But a light had gone from the little girl's face, and the Demon Lord was starting to wonder if it would return.

At least her appitite had returned, and she ate more, and she was talking more, but she was still very subdued, very quiet.

Sesshomaru turned back, watching the moon rise.

For the last month...he kept seeing her.

Izumi.

For some unfathomable reason, he seemed to keep seeing her out of the corner of his eye.

The first time it happened, he had been bathing in a lake, and had seen a burst of color out of the corner of his eye, long and slender, blues and reds, and he had turned, forgetting for a moment she was gone, forgetting for a moment she was _dead_, only to discover a tree that had somehow managed to keep it's red leaves, with a shadow of blue behind it, moving slightly in the breeze.

He had felt an insane burst of anger that he had been tricked, and had used his own whip and cut down the tree, as if punishing it for appearing like her.

The problem was, it kept happening.

After the first time, of course, he no longer turned, thinking it were her, because he remembered she were dead. But that was worse, for now when he saw something out of the corner of his eye, it startled him so badly, and he always turned, surprised, only to be fooled again by a tree, or the way two separate shadows lined up, or even a simple row of flowers.

He happened on a small stream one night, and the scent of lotus caught him unaware, and he suddenly felt such an insane _wrench_ inside him, something he didn't understand, and he felt an irrational burst of anger at the very flowers themselves.

It made no sense.

The woman was dead.

Everything died.

And just last evening, he had been standing in a very similar way, watching the sun set, and he suddenly realized he had been listening for her voice.

_Missing_ her _voice_.

He was angry at himself. Why was he acting this way? Like some foolish, human child who lost a parent, say, or a toy, and wanted it back?

Last night, he had dreamed, and he had dreamed of her.

It had been a very short dream, nothing had happened. He had merely seen her, standing in the forest, looking over her shoulder at him, wearing a dark blue robe. The robe was unadorned, plain, no birds, and she had such a look of sorrowful longing on her face, as if she were full of regret. As if she were lost.

He had awoken in a foul mood, Jakken fearing his wrath, and hadn't even bothered to ask if his faithful vassal could follow when he left. Jakken had been more than willing to be left behind.

Sesshomaru walked, and was not overly surprised when he found himself near the river where Izumi had first shown him her power.

They had talked, and she had had the utter nerve to berate him. And when he had asked for a demonstration of her power, she had made the river rise up, in a tall twisting tower, rising, rising...

And had sent it surging over him, soaking him to the very skin.

He had been utterly shocked, not having expected it, not having expecting this beautiful woman to have shown such a foolish, silly side, that he had not even had time to move out of the way. He had been soaked, and...

Suddenly...

So unbearably _amused_.

Why, he did not know. He should have been enraged. He should have fallen on her with a rage and a fury that was complete. He should have tried to remove her head from her shoulders for such disrespect.

And yet...he had been amused.

Subsequent meetings had been different, of course, and he had been more...properly disposed towards her. And she had easily given him all the respect he deserved. But that first time...

He stood, now, looking at the river, watching it flow past at his feet. It was lower now, what with the drought, but it still flowed. Fireflies still flickered about, not having lost their lives to any frost yet.

He watched the water, and pondered the strange, pulling sensation he felt.

It took a few moments before he realized the water was moving in a strange manner, pulling backwards, starting to pool near his feet. A small whirlpool appeared, stationary.

The Demon Lord frowned slightly at the whirlpool, curious.

The water continued to pool, a slight hump appearing in the water, swirling, softly sighing. It rose, and fell, rose, and fell, as if it were breathing.

Or maintaining energy.

It surged upwards, bubbling, trying to form a tower before him. The moonlight shone on it, making it appear silver. Water trickled down the sides, only to be drawn back up into the center, hovering, trembling.

Sesshomaru took a step backward, wary. What attack was this?

The water trembled again, shivering, shuddering, and started to reform.

As he watched, a humanoid form appeared in the water, the water itself taking on a human form.

It rippled, losing the shape once, then reforming, as if fighting it's own natural tendancies.

The human form reformed, the waist narrowing, the chest enlarging. The face forming, rippling, dissolving, reforming.

Sesshomaru froze, eyes widening in his shock. But he knew the features. Knew the face.

Izumi.

The water-being stood before him, features dissolving and reforming, quivering as water fought gravity, but each time the face reformed, it was Izumi.

Lord Sesshomaru stared, unable to understand what he was looking at.

He spoke, his voice a shocked whisper, "Izumi?"

The water woman looked at him with pupil-less eyes, stood, rippling, shimmering, and held out an arm. Reached out a hand.

It was almost a perfect imitation of the Lord Sesshomaru himself, in the exact moment he realized Izumi would take the brunt of the burning mountain on the island.

Confused and badly startled, the Demon Lord took a step forward, and reached out his own hand, reaching for the water-woman's hand.

A sharp sound in the forest echoed out, and the water-woman shuddered, shivered, and collapsed, suddenly becoming nothing more than a tower of water that fell back into the river with a splash, rushing away, gone.

Sesshomaru remained standing where he was, staring into the water, his arm at his side again, confused.

What had he just seen?

The strange sound came again, and he turned, suddenly angry, moving towards the noise.

He strode out of the brush to see a strange-looking creature rummaging around in a bush, looking for berries, perhaps. It picked something, held it up to the moonlight, and barked that weird sound again, a racking laugh.

It must have heard the Demon Lord, for it turned suddenly, looking at him.

Lord Sesshomaru looked at it, and narrowed his cold golden eyes.

"Kegasu."

The shortish creature stood, skin white as the moon. It wore no clothing, but did not need to, it seemed to have no sex, neither male nor female. It had no hair, pupilless eyes. When it smiled, all it's teeth were long white needles.

"The Demon Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Reaches. It is a great pleasure to meet you again."

Kegasu bowed deeply to him.

Sesshomaru spoke, "Did not Izumi banish you from these realms before?"

"That she did, yes," Kegasu hissed, still grinning horribly, "But she is gone now, so why do I need to listen to her?"

Sesshomaru laid a hand on the hilt of Tokijin, "Surely you did not think that her death gives you premission to return?"

Kegasu grinned again, only this time his grin was cold and nasty, "And who will enforce that penalty, Demon Lord? You?"

Saying nothing, Sesshomaru slid Tokijin from it's sheath.

Kegasu blinked, looking startled, "You are The Neutral One. You cannot take sides!"

"I _am indeed_ The Neutral One," Sesshomaru agreed, "And I do that which pleases me, regardless of sides."

Kegasu narrowed his staring eyes, and hissed, "I only returned to look around. I shall go, if it displeases my lord."

"Your existance displeases me," was the answer, but he sheathed Tokijin.

Kegasu studied Sesshomaru, then spoke, "I am surprised you would bother with such as me, my Lord. Surely there are other, more important things, that require your attention?"

"Do not concern yourself with my business."

"Perhaps I should just go," Kegasu said, sulkily.

"Do not return again," Sesshomaru said, turning, "Just because the Lady Izumi walks with her ancestors now does not mean you have leave to come here."

He turned, and started walking back to where Rin lay sleeping.

"Ah yes," Kegasu's mocking voice came after him, "I shall go. A pity, though, that the Lady Izumi isn't, in fact, walking with her ancestors."

Lord Sesshomaru stopped. Not turning around, he spoke, "What do you mean?"

Kegasu grinned, "Just as I said. It would have been so nice, wouldn't it, if the lonely Lady Izumi had been able to go to those she missed on the other side when she passed from this world? With your father, perhaps! Finally meeting up with those she had lost so long ago. Alas, it is not so."

Sesshomaru turned slightly, looking over a shoulder at Kegasu.

"If the Lady Izumi is not in the afterlife, where then is she?"

Kegasu's voice was gleeful, "She wanders the Paths of the Dead."

The tall Demon Lord slowly turned, regarding Kegasu quietly.

"I know that you can only speak the truth, but that you speak such truth in order to cause pain. Yet it is truth you speak. So tell me, Kegasu, what of Izumi?"

"There is the blood-price to be paid, my Lord," Kegasu smiled nastily, "I require-"

Kegasu was suddenly up against a tree, the tip of Tokijin at his throat, a hand wrapped tightly around his shoulder, and the Demon Lord's face inches from his own. Sesshomaru spoke calmly.

"You require only that I do not remove your foul head from your diseased shoulders. Tell me of Izumi."

Kegasu squirmed slightly, shocked, but the Demon Lord narrowed his eyes, and the creature fell silent.

"When she died, she was taken too quickly. Her soul was not sent to the afterlife, as it should have been. Instead it was lost on the many Paths of the Dead. That is where Izumi is now. Lost."

Sesshomaru looked at Kegasu, disgust on his perfect features.

"How long has she been ...lost?"

"Moments after her death, Lord."

Sesshomaru was silent for a moment. Almost 4 weeks now.

"And will she find her way to the Afterlife?"

"Who is to say, but...I do not think it likely. She did something that was taboo, and as such her way to the afterlife was barred."

"Taboo? Izumi? That seems unlikely."

"And yet, it is so."

"And just what was it that Izumi did?"

Kegasu looked sulky, "That I don't know. I just know what the wind says. She did something taboo, and as a result, her soul was lost on the way. Most likely she will wander the Paths of the Dead untill she fades, becoming a lost soul."

Sesshomaru paused, and stepped back, releasing Kegasu. He sheathed Tokijin.

"You will leave this world, and not return. You do not have Izumi's, nor _my_ permission to return. Remember that."

Kegasu looked evilly at the Demon Lord, but said nothing.

He turned, and skittered off into the forest, dissapearing from sight as soon as possible.

Lord Sesshomaru turned, and started walking off in the forest.

There was a portal, located in the firelands. He had used it once before.

He would use it again, to walk the Paths of the Dead.

END


End file.
